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Domestic abuse in any form is a crime. It’s not always physical and can occur during or after a relationship. The effects can be devastating.
If you think you are a victim of domestic abuse, please remember it’s never your fault. The most important thing is to take steps to protect yourself and break the cycle of abuse.
In this section we explain the different forms of domestic abuse and some of the common signs to look out for. If you identify with any of these situations, please get in touch with our specialist support team who will do everything they can to get you the support you need.
Please remember that these signs are not exhaustive. You can talk to us about any situation or behaviour from a partner or family member that makes you feel unsafe in your own home.
Coercive control
“My ex manipulated everything to make me feel worthless.”
What is coercive control?
Coercive control is when a partner, ex-partner or family member gains power over you by repeatedly behaving in a way that makes you feel controlled, isolated, scared or dependent on them.
Common signs of coercive control
– Monitoring and controlling where you go and who you see
– Stopping you seeing friends and family
– Calling you names and constantly putting you down
– Making threats to harm or kill you or your children
– Damaging your property or possessions
– Forcing you to do things you don’t want to
Financial or economic abuse
“My abuser took away my bank cards so I couldn’t leave.”
What is financial or economic abuse?
Financial abuse is a way of controlling your movements and behaviour. Abusers deprive their victim of access to money so you can’t buy food and clothing, support your children, and become dependent on them to survive.
Common signs of financial or economic abuse
– Controlling access to your bank account
– Spending your money without permission
– Taking away your bank or credit cards
– Gambling with your money or assets
– Taking out a loan in your name without your permission
– Moving your money into their bank account and controlling it
Harassment and stalking
“I thought that you had to be hit to be in an abusive relationship. I was wrong.”
What is harassment and stalking?
Stalking and harassment is a form of obsessive behaviour. The abuse is often persistent and can make you feel frightened, anxious, fearful for your own or your child’s life.
Commons signs of harassment and stalking
– Following you and monitoring your movements
– Persistent and unwanted calls, texts and emails
– Turning up out of the blue when you’re out
– Sending you gifts you don’t want
– Threatening you or your family
– Damaging your property
Digital and online abuse
“They threatened to share intimate pictures of me online.”
What is digital and online abuse?
Domestic abusers often also use digital platforms to abuse and threaten their victims.
Common signs of digital and online abuse
– Keeping track of you via emails and text messages
– Accessing your social media accounts without permission
– Bullying you using fake online profiles
– Monitoring your accounts and installing spyware on your devices
– Using tracking apps to monitor your movements
– Posting, or threatening to post, sexual images of you online
– Taking away your mobile phone or other devices
Physical abuse
“My abuser hit me in places where nobody else would see the bruises.”
What is physical abuse?
Physical abuse might start gradually with a push or shove or come as a sudden attack without warning. If the abuser is left unchallenged, it can become progressively worse over time and escalate to more frequent and violent attacks.
Common signs of physical abuse
– Hitting, kicking and pushing you around
– Throwing things at you
– Physical restraint, choking or strangling
– Injuring you intentionally
– Forcing you to take drugs or medication without consent
Sexual abuse
“They promised it was a one-off, but it continued, each time more violent than the last.”
What is sexual abuse?
Sexual violence and abuse is any form of sexual activity that takes place without your consent. It can happen with a partner with whom you have previously had consensual sex, in fact 90% of rapes are committed by people who are known to the victim*.
Common signs of sexual abuse
– Using pressure or forcing you to have sex when you don’t want to
– Forcing you to have unsafe sex or take part in degrading activity
– Seeing you as a sex object rather than a person
– Touching you sexually without consent
– Sending explicit texts and images
– Female genital mutilation
– Rape
*Rape Crisis
Emotional abuse
“They said social services would take my kids away if I reported what was happening.”
What is emotional abuse?
Emotional abusers persistently use words and actions to threaten, control and frighten. Their words erode confidence and self-esteem, making the victim feel inadequate and ashamed.
Common signs of emotional abuse
– Being charming one minute and abusive the next
– Calling you derogatory names
– Repeatedly criticising you and putting you down
– Humiliating and patronising you in public
– Trying to come between you and your friends and family
– Making threats towards you and your children
Honour-based abuse
“They told me it was against the law to ask for help.”
What is honour-based abuse?
Honour-based abuse occurs within families and is usually perpetrated by more than one family member. Honour, also known as Izzat, Ghairat, Namus or Sharam, is used to justify violence and abuse against women.
Common signs of honour-based abuse
– Forced marriage
– Pressuring you to live or move abroad
– Isolating you from friends, family or children
– Threatening to harm or kill you
– Sexual assault and rape